The Riding Crop

It’s been so long, I know. Life just happens. I’ve been having amazing sex this whole time, I just haven’t had time to share about it.

The latest toy my Sir and I added to our collection was a riding crop. I ordered it online, not thinking how suspicious it would be to receive a big long package from HorseEnthusiasticInternational (or whatever it was) at our apartment, and I can only thank the mailman for not leaving a slip and forcing us to pick it up at the post office. I’m sure there was more than a passing question of whether or not it was a three foot long horse dildo.

Anyways, the riding crop is pretty standard, nothing flashy, and to use it, my Sir decided to tie me down first. We got under-the-bed restraints (may have a more proper name, so sue me, it’s 4:30 AM) and he tied me up spread-eagle on the bed, face down. He was hesitant to hit too hard at first, leaving the tiniest of stings on my ass. I loved the little hits, especially because they could go on forever and my butt would never get too sore. However, he soon got tired of that. He wanted to hear me moan, to see me squirm against the sheets.

He hit me hard, over and over, all across my butt. He praised the nice red shade of my butt, and didn’t stop until I was just at the edge of crying. Still tied up, he entered me and came almost instantly.

I love that I can do that to my Sir, to make him lose control just by giving myself to him. To say the least, we both very much enjoyed the riding crop, and we’ve used it many times. My Sir can’t really use it as a punishment… but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop myself from being a bad girl so that I can feel my ass sting 🙂

-b

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Why I’m a Sub

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I’m a bad girl. I am, I admit it. I disobey on purpose, most of the time out of laziness. No I don’t feel like being on top, no I don’t feel like sucking your dick right now. No, I’m not going to deep throat you now, your penis is huge. And no, I don’t want you pinching my nipples, they’re sensitive because I’m about to be on my period.

These are all things I do, yet I know I’m still a sub. I need to be controlled. I want my Sir to tell me to kneel for him while he circles me, just waiting for me to move so that he can punish me. I want to be spanked then held then fucked senseless. I want him to deny me so many times that when I finally orgasm I scream with pleasure. I want him to slam me down on the bed and pull my hair back to fuck me till he comes, then tell me I’m a dirty little slut to like being used.

There are lots of reasons that I know I’m a sub. One of my biggest fantasies has always been being tied down so that I couldn’t move while a man did whatever he wanted with me. I want to be forced to kneel at his feet and suck his dick then be thrown on the bed while he fucks me senseless. I want him to torture me with orgasms and choke me until I bruise. I want to be spanked until I’m crying and have ginger shoved up my ass as punishment. I want to be peed on and called a dirty whore. I want to be rewarded for obeying, and punished for being bad.

There are other things, like the desire to control a guy and do nasty things to him, but those urges aren’t as strong, and I wouldn’t want to do them to my Sir, because he certainly wouldn’t enjoy them. Even if I’m a bit of a switch, I would say I’m primarily a sub. I like to control so much in my real life that it’s nice letting go completely during sex. It’s the one time I can really relax.

-b

Control Me

hmmm

In the time I’ve been MIA, a lot has happened. Today, I’d like to talk about one thing in particular, and that thing is being controlled during sex. Physically controlled, through choking or hair-pulling.

See, I always thought I’d hate being choked. I have asthma, so I hate it when my breathing is restricted in any way. My Sir wanted to try it, but I told him to take it really easy so I didn’t freak out. It started when we were spooning, and he’d reach up and grab my chin. I liked that a lot, because I love the feeling of being controlled. It was really the only position where he could grab me, it was weird if we did it in doggy style, so we didn’t do it very often.

However, my Sir became insistent. He really wanted to try choking me, so I agreed. We decided to try it while my legs were up on his shoulders, because my legs would help him keep his weight off of me. He just used one hand at first, and I immediately loved it. I don’t know if it counts as choking me really, because I can still breathe. Sometimes I’ll get a little short of breath, but that’s just because he’ll be pounding into me.

Mostly it feels like not only is he controlling me, but he’s making my head all fuzzy from disrupting the blood flow. He makes sure not to do it for too long after he left bruises. They weren’t bad, it just looked like a faint red line on my neck that could have been from anything. Not like big black and blue hand prints or anything.

My favorite thing is coming with his hands around my neck. My new favorite position to come in is with one leg up on his shoulder and the other one out, because he’s still slamming into my g-spot while I have access to touch my clit. He can also choke me in that position, so it’s an extra bonus.

I just adore being controlled. I want my Sir to call me a little slut and order me around like a real Dominant, but we’re still working up to that. To be fair, I’m a pretty bad sub for the most part. I need to get him to read more erotica so that he can get new  ideas. I know he has the mindset for it, he’s just not used to ordering people around.

A while ago, he told me to pretend to actually fight him off like I didn’t want to have sex. I did, and it was okay for me, but he really liked it. He loved forcing himself on me. He likes choking me too; the first time he did it he came almost immediately after putting his hands around my throat.

He also loves pulling my hair, which is fine by me. I actually recently cut my hair, and I’m sad that he can’t get a better grip on it. It’s not just being under his control, but I also like the pain of when he pulls it (assuming it’s my scalp hurting and not my neck). Possibly because I’m just a dirty whore, but who can go through life with boring vanilla sex? I get frustrated when we have normal sex too often. How can someone not have the urge to be spanked? It’s mind-boggling.

-b

Hiatus

My Sir and I are scrambling to find jobs for the summer. I’m super stressed out about it. Not a lot of kink has been happening. It I relax a little I’ll tell you all about our adventure in the shower or maybe write another piece of erotica. Until then, I can do nothing but apologize for my absence. 

I Fucked My Sir Today

Twice, actually.

The first time, I got back from class when he was still asleep and climbed into his bed to cuddle. When he started spooning, he just pulled down my pants and entered me and fucked me up until he was close to being late to class. Orgasms: Him 1, Me 1.

After lunch, I got bored/horny. You know, when you have nothing better to do than to touch yourself? So I masturbated. Orgasms: Him 1, Me 2.

I asked my Sir to come over and cuddle then, and he did. For some reason, I don’t remember why, I put the blindfold on him as a joke. Then I tied one of his hands up. He didn’t say anything or resist, so I tied him up while he was on his stomach then made him get on his knees so that I could tie his legs in place too. I fucked him with his toy and considered stopping and making him edge a few times before coming, but I was pretty sure he could free himself if he wanted and I didn’t want him escaping and punishing me for being cruel. When he came it seriously turned me on. He’s just so sexy when he’s on his knees like that, thrusting back on his toy and panting as he comes. Orgasms: Him 2, Me 2.

After that he slept on my boobs while I masturbated once more, this time with my vibrator. The final score came out to be:  Him 2, Me 3. Not that it actually matters :p

I didn’t really enjoy tying him up, but at least I didn’t freak out over it this time. I mean, it was fun in a silly way, but I only got off on making him come and making him feel good, not having him give up control. Besides, when I’m fucking him with his toy like that he’s usually in that position anyways and too blind without his glasses to see, so it wasn’t that different than normal. Afterwards, he said “Good girl” like he’d told me to do it all along.

This gif pretty much sums up how I felt about that:

4All in all, it was a good day. I wasn’t able to 69 with my Sir like I had originally wanted, but I suppose we’ll just have to find time for it over the weekend.

-b

Stressed

I was in a bad mood all day. I’m preparing to possibly be separated from my Sir all summer after finals and I have lots of assignments and exams to do in the following week (and a class I honestly don’t know if I can pass or not) so I am reaching peak stress levels.

My Sir got back from his class today and a little bit after he had returned I went over and slid down his pants without warning, then his underwear. I took off his shirt and then bent down and lifted each foot to take off his shoes and socks and slid the remainder of his pants and boxers off. I took my clothes off and tried to walk over to the bed, but he grabbed me from behind and wouldn’t let me move. He kissed me and started playing with my clit until he was satisfied that I was turned on enough to go get in bed.

I almost immediately suggested being tied up. I love being tied up. I don’t have to worry about what to do or what he wants, I just have to exist and let my Sir decide what to do with me. This time, he tied my legs to the top bunk so that my legs were stuck suspended in the air. He also put the blindfold on me and decided to use the anal beads while he played with my clit. He put the nipple clamps on me and they pinched just enough so that they hurt, but not too much so that he had to take them off right away.

In the middle of playing with me he entered me and just started fucking me while I was still tied up and unable to move. Because he had brought me so close by playing with the anal beads and stroking my clit I thought I would come just from that, but he stopped and said he wasn’t done playing with me yet.

My favorite part about when we play like this, besides the lack of control, is when he spreads me open and looks deep into my cunt. I feel so dirty when he does it, not to mention my desire to be stretched open for him. It’s so sexy to just be tied down and blindfolded while my Sir has his face down by my cunt, spreading me open like a wanton slut.

He made me come by playing with the anal beads while using my vibrator on me. Then he put my legs on his shoulders and fucked me until he came. The one thing I don’t like about the blindfold is that I can’t see my Sir when he comes. That’s one of my favorite parts of having sex!

Needless to say, I felt better after that. I’m still super stressed about my tests, but tomorrow is the test I’m really worried about and the only day I work, so at the end of the day I’m going to need my Sir to give me a serious fucking. Hopefully he’ll have the stamina to get me through finals week.

-b

Porn

I don’t understand why some girls get jealous when their boyfriends watch porn. I guess I can understand if they get mad because it’s a religious thing and they don’t approve of porn, but is there any girl who honestly thinks that guys would rather watch porn than have sex with them? Or that their man is going to hunt down that porn star, score a date, and end up fucking her instead? Both things are ridiculous. If the former is true, that doesn’t mean you should get mad at your boyfriend (or husband, girlfriend, whatever), it means that you need to communicate to ensure that you’re both in a good relationship and that your sex life is what you want it to be.

That being said, some guys just want to watch porn sometimes. Girls too. I can say that for certain, because I’m a girl. I like both hardcore porn videos as well as reading erotica. These things were made to get us horny, so it would be a shame to let that go to waste, right? Sometimes you just gotta masturbate. If you want, masturbate with your partner. Just don’t freak out when you find “asian gangbang pee fucking machine anal” in his most recent search terms on Google.

Recently my Sir and I watched porn together. We sat at his desk with me on his lap and his cock inside me. He found a video of a girl being figged (is that the proper term for someone undergoing figging? I say yes) and spanked. He moved slowly inside me as we watched the girl get punished. My Sir played with my tits and my clit, but I couldn’t move enough to get his cock to touch the right spots. We finished the video before we came to the bed and he fucked me hard. It was a very nice night.

I get really turned on watching other girls get spanked. I don’t think it’s something I would like to try myself (spanking a girl, that is) because I’m pretty heterosexual myself. Still, there’s something in watching her squirm and imagining it was my own ass stinging from my Sir’s hand that gets me all hot and bothered. I can’t wait until my Sir spanks me again.

-b

Good Vibrations

I’m talking about vibrators. Well, one vibrator. This guy. (I say guy because I got the blue one… and also because it’s vaguely penis-shaped.) This was my first vibrator that I purchased with Christmas money an 80-year-old woman gave me. (She thinks I bought books with it.) I didn’t really have high expectations for it because I didn’t think that vibrators could be that good overall. I was wrong. Very wrong.

My Sir has used it on me before, so he knew what he was doing. Last night we decided to get it on after a sexless weekend. He tied my arms up and put the blindfold on me again (I think he really enjoys blindfolding me). After first he was just using his hands to toy with me, but then he got the vibrator out. He teased me to orgasm three times with it, all while closely examining my downstairs area and making me feel like a dirty whore.

Right before he finally let me come, he was stretching me out with his fingers. He had four fingers inside me going in opposite directions to stretch out my hole as far as it could go. I loved the feeling. It wasn’t just that pleasant stretching feeling that sits right on the edge of being painful, but I also liked hearing how he could see deep into my cunt and just feeling like an incredible wanton slut. I came with the vibrator on my clit and inside me, his fingers also inside me and stretching me out, and another finger toying with my ass. Again, I was blindfolded, so I don’t know if he grew extra fingers to accomplish all this, but I had a very nice orgasm. My Sir came by pushing my knees up near my head and pounding into my incredibly sensitive g-spot.

I think that I’m also growing more fond of using the blindfold. It lets me focus more on what is being done to me. I enjoy being tied up more too now. I realize that when I’m tied up, I can’t do anything. I’m just there for him to use. I like knowing that I don’t have to worry about anything because he’s in control. It takes away a lot of the stress that can be associated with sex, in my opinion.

-b

Taking a Break

My Sir ended up deciding that it was too much for me to try not to come until the end of the week. He knew that I was too stressed to be able to do something like that at the moment. I love my Sir because he understands my limits and would never get mad at me for something that happened in the bedroom… unless I like bit his penis off or something. That might put a damper on our relationship.

-b

Orgasm Denial – Part 2

The one nice thing about living in the dorm rooms is that the posts for the bed are great to be tied up to. It’s perfect because it’s obviously going to be strong enough to hold whatever you do to it and also because the single bed makes it the perfect size for a tiny person like me.

My Sir tied me up and said we were going to play with the anal beads. He’s never used the anal beads on me, I’d only used them on myself, so this was going to be quite new. I was on my back and he pushed my legs up into the air so that I was completely exposed to him. He put the blindfold on me so that I couldn’t see. Somehow, we’d never gotten around to making me wear the blindfold, so that was new as well.

The anal beads start out quite small, so it was easy to get it halfway in with the minimal amount of lube. He pushed each bead in while playing with my clit and would pull the additional beads in and out before adding a bigger one. I came very close to coming and he denied me, pulling his hand away. The second time, my legs were shaking too much to hold them in the air. I rested on foot on his leg (I have no idea how he was sitting, since I was blindfolded the entire time) and the other I put up against the top bunk for support. He continued pushing me towards the edge and not letting me come. My legs started to give out again, so I put them on the support bar below the top bunk so that legs were supported in the air and my knees were about even with my boobs.

It was taking much less time to get me close to coming now. As the anal beads kept getting bigger and fucking me with them felt even better, my Sir would smack my inner thighs to make sure I didn’t come when I was close. In reality, I liked the smacks. They weren’t hard enough to be truly punishing, but they stung enough to turn me on.

During our play, the blindfold was playing tricks on me. After one near-orgasm, he slapped both thighs hard. There was a warm tingle afterward, and I thought that he had left his hands on my thighs. Then I realized that the anal beads were still moving and that he was still playing with my clit. I honestly thought he had four hands for a second.

If it isn’t clear, I was very turned on. My mind was just completely overloaded between the bondage, the anal beads, and how my Sir kept pushing me so close to orgasm. I wanted to come so bad. A few times he asked me, “Do you want to come?” and I answered yes just to hear him say, “Too bad, you have to wait until Friday.” I think he asked just for the pleasure of denying me.

Eventually, the largest bead of the string was in. It wasn’t all that big and I probably could have gotten it in comfortably without so much preparation, but my Sir is always very careful not to hurt me there. I felt very safe, even though I was blindfolded and tied up, because I knew that the second something started hurting he would stop and make things alright.

Once he was sure that I was comfortable with all of the beads, he asked if I wanted the butt plug. I said, “I don’t know,” because really, it isn’t my job to know what I want. He guessed correctly and got the butt plug out. The biggest part of it is actually wider than his penis (and I can’t wrap my fingers around the widest part of his penis) so he was very slow in easing it in to me. We hadn’t done any anal play in so long that I forgot how good it felt to be stretched out and played with. He slowly fucked me with the butt plug until my legs just couldn’t stay up anymore. I was so done at that moment that I was ready to tell him we needed to stop completely, I was so tired. However, once I got my legs down and he continued playing with me I felt a little better and like I was ready for his cock.

One thing I haven’t mentioned yet is that my Sir has a large penis. Not obscenely, porn-star huge, but considering how small a person I am, it’s pretty big. He can hit my cervix no problem during sex and for anal, nothing but fisting (which I am not yet ready to try) could prepare me for both the length and the girth of his cock.

Once I was on my stomach and untied, my Sir slowly began fucking my ass. I was told to touch myself, and so I did. It became really hard not to come. I was panting and swearing after each near-miss. The first time I’d said “Oh, fuck” my Sir had stopped and been ready to punish me before I explained that it had been the lack of orgasm causing me to swear, not an orgasm. I was so turned on that when my Sir started going faster and really pounding my ass, I had to ask him to stop so that I didn’t come just from that. The closest call was when my Sir was coming. I asked him to stop so that I wouldn’t come, but he just kept pounding into me. Luckily, he came before I could. I would have really hated disappointing my Sir.

After all the incredibly sexy play, I experienced a bit of sub drop. This was actually the most intense thing we’ve ever done together, BDSM-wise, and I’d edged without coming at least fifteen times. The biggest downside to the dorms is the fact that I have to go to another floor and then fart lube and come in a public restroom. Then, since it was late, I decided to brush my teeth when I was down there and grab my pajamas. I sleep in my boyfriend’s room since he doesn’t have a roommate, but I’m still living on the floor below him and it sucks. I felt like crying by the time I got back to his room. I questioned why I thought I was into kinky shit and I had to ask my Sir if I had done something wrong because he hadn’t said, “Good girl,” when everything was through. He freaked out and said that he’d called me a good girl during the scene and he thought that’d been enough then told me I was a very good girl and that he loved me very much and said he will be much better about it in the future. He cuddled me and gave me as many kisses as possible as my cramps started coming back. He even offered to sleep with me in the same bed (which is an incredibly stupid offer when the bed in question is a twin dorm bed on the top bunk) but I was so incredibly exhausted that I kicked him out to finally sleep.

-b